After the grieving is done, it’s time to jump back on the market! Although I haven’t been without a job since I was fourteen and haven’t been dating for the last six years, after the shock of being dumped wore off, there was a certain thrill in the air for going out and doing some job dating.
It takes some confidence to get back out on the dating scene after a good relationship goes south, but once you do, the experience of dating as much as possible only helps you hone in more on what you want in your next relationship.
Once you’re on the prowl again, there are a few pieces of dating advice everyone needs to follow.
1. Know The Best Way to Find a Good Date
There are a few common ways to find dates. Use the internet, go to a bar or networking event or tap into your friends for referrals (blind dates).
Online- Although I have a few friends that found their sole mate in a chat room, I was off the dating scene before the days of E-Harmony. This may skew my perspective a bit, but as I jumped back in the job market, I put my resume on every career site out there and applied for upwards of 40 positions. I got about 35 “you’re not our type” responses, but no dates. If you know of a good career website, let me know.
Hit the Bar- Even being somewhat of an extrovert, I can count on one finger how many women I was able to pick up in a bar. For jobs, I think networking events are the same deal. If you go to an event for “job seeking professionals”. Why do I want to go to an event and talk to other unemployed people?
Talk to Friends- I know that the “I know the perfect person for you” set up can be hit or miss. Personally, I met my wife when someone told me they thought we would hit it off. In job searching, your network knows your strengths and desires the best, so trust them to hook you up with a winner.
2. You Get the Most Dates When You’re Dating
So, this doesn’t sound too PC, but it’s true! Especially when you’re a guy, girls for some reason like to go after you if you are already in a relationship. This applies more handily on the job front. It’s so much easier to get a job if you already have one, which presents a unique challenge for those of us “job unattached”. Here’s a few ways tips to help…
List Your Last Job as “To Present”- If it’s only been a few weeks and especially if you are collecting a severance check, you are still “employed” by that employer. This is a short term solution!
Volunteer- Community agencies are in desperate need of skilled labor. You don’t have to stuff envelopes, but choose a cause you’re passionate about and volunteer on a specific project that will help you fill skill deficits on your resume or connect you with the right people. I knew I wanted to do more work in leadership development, so I helped Metro Volunteers develop a new leadership program. WSJ just put out a great article on this. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123724924781149465.html
Find a “Tweener”- This is something you NEVER do in dating, but can do in the job market. If you need to work, find a job that may not be perfect, but gets you by for the time being…if it’s under 3-6months, don’t list it on your resume.
3. Practice Makes Perfect
One of the benefits of being single is checking out all kinds of opportunities. You should definitely do the same in the job market.
I remember a time when I had just broken up with a girl I had dated for about a year. I was at a good friend’s house getting some consultation from him and his wife. He said, “Go out with LOTS and LOTS of girls.” She said, “Be picky, find ONE nice girl.”
Of course, being a single, young man, I took his advice in this case. In the past, I had always went from one, longer term girlfriend to the next, I liked being in a relationship. Having it click in my head that it was OK to date a few girls at once as long as I was honest with them was really eye opening. I made sure I told them up front I wasn’t in the place in life for a relationship yet.
Do the same thing with your job search. Apply for and interview for as many jobs as possible and don’t always jump at the first offer on the table. Let them know you are in a place where you want to see what opportunities are out there, that you are definitely interested, but you want a week or so to finish some interviews you already have scheduled. Of course, if you know it’s just not you, let them off the hook early and don’t string them along!
I’m sure we all have great dating advice and I’d love for you to share it!
